The Bravest Thing I Ever Did…

The bravest thing I ever did was keep living when I wanted to give up and die. Kept breathing though the pain felt as if it were crushing me. Kept moving forward even when I wanted to throw in the towel and give up. I think about dying almost everyday. I think about giving up and what that really would mean. But I know that I have far more to live for than to die for. So every morning, I wake myself up, get out of bed, put on my makeup and push myself. I make a deal with myself, “You have to care today, tomorrow you can stop caring if you get out of bed but today you get that ass up!” And when I wake up tomorrow I do it all again. “You get up! You can stop caring tomorrow! But you have things to take care of today!” And so the battle goes. Now don’t get me wrong, it isn’t always like this. Sometimes I can’t wait for my day to get started. But right now it’s a struggle. Right now there’s a lot of pain and tears. Right now I feel very alone. Right now I’m in the depressed side of Bipolar. And oh how it rears it’s ugly head.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s